Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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