I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
