Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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