I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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