R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize