He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
