I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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