My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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