Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
