Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
