There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize