i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
