I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
As shirtless as possible
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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