Don't you send me to vm
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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