It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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