Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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