mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
