remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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