Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
