Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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