please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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