i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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