eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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