I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Randomize
