chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
