i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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