i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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