so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
