just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
