You just made me feel so damn special
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
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She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
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party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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