Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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