Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
