my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
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