My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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