We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's shark week go big or go home
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
