...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
