dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
