My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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