batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
