He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
