I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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