i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
