Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
