Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
