By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
