Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
