Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
