Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
