I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
