Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
