do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
