Soap is not a condiment
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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