my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
