Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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