I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
