i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
