If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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